Today is Monday, May 18th 2009. I will be out of the office today, due to the impending Apocalypse. At this time I will be unavailable to return any phone calls, emails, texts, gchats, facebook or myspace messages and wall posts, instant messages of any kind, or make any updates to my twitter. At this juncture I will also not be able to offer advice or feedback on any of the following: members of the opposite sex, relationships, marriage, divorce, separation, unprotected sex or sexual encounters of any kind, infidelities, physical or mental illness, religion, murder or treason. I will also be unable to perform my editing duties to text messages, wall posts, emails, voicemails or anything requiring structuring sentences of any kind. In my absence please contact a voice of reason, a parent, a counselor or best yet, God. If I am able to detain the Apocalypse, I will return at an undetermined time when I have regained my soul and my sanity. Have a nice day!
Hedone
High Maintenance Specialist
Serving DFW & ATL
