"In the real world your nose itches when someone's talking about you!" I exclaimed.
"In the real world??? Oh and it's actually your ear." A grumpy dinner associate rebuttled.
"Yes the real world. And it's both your ear AND your nose" I said.
This sort of statement is akin to a guy exclaiming, "If I were a guy...!" Or perhaps something an individual with access to an alternate universe would say. Access which I, unfortuntely, do not have.
Lets talk about the "real world." The fact that I have a parallel universe in my mind is lost on the rest of those in the real world. In my parallel universe things are ideal. I sometimes escape into it with exceptional moments in time. Waking up at the beach for instance...looking out over the ocean...totally tranquil. A good friend once told me I have two personas, the beach me and the real world me. Just guess which one is more fun to be around.
The real world I spend most of my time is quite a drastic change from the world I wish to permanently reside in.
The real world is running late wherever you go. Spilling the entire contents of your wallet into the crevices of your car. Realizing several grapes and pieces of honeydew from a day-old fruit cup have been dispersed throughout your giant purse, complete with a small hairball from your brush.
Mornings go a little differently as well. Blackberries start souding off with various alarming sounds to "WAKE UP" and join the masses in the Real. World. Your insane cat is jumping all over you, scratching your bed partner who starts bleeding on the pillow and sometimes you accidentally empty the entire contents of a drawer that hasn't been opened in a couple of years. You're hungover. You can't decide what to wear and you can't function without coffee. Which you would spill anyways.
(A theme perhaps?)
Spillage in the ideal world isn't as much of an issue. While lounging on the beach you spill a pina colada all over the sand and your tanned midsection. Laugh it off and run into the ocean to get off the sweet sticky drink with that large body of salty water. A spilled drink won't disrupt your day in any way. Things are peaceful and serene. You have no where to be. No time constraints and you aren't running late anywhere. You're never hungover because you're perpetually tipsy or sleeping it off.
I was once told that "time isn't for everyone." It certainly isn't for me.
But, despite that blasted time, exceptional moments still exist in the real world. It's getting presents from all your co-workers, going for a run in unseasonably warm weather right before dusk, getting an unexpected package and going home for Christmas. It's moments like those, glimpses from the ideal, that keep me going in this topsy turvy crazy beautiful real world.
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